Playful Roots

Loving Is a Stress Risk

2010-11-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

by Connie Dunn

When we love someone, there are certain risks that we must take. Some of those risks lead to stress. For example, if you are shy and need to approach a person just to ask them out, you may experience a high level of stress. Sometimes the relationship itself causes stress. Personalities may not be compatible, energy levels may differ, or interests may not make you compatible. If you’re a financially conservative person and become involved with someone for whom spends money like water with no concern about the debt they may incur, you’re probably going to experience quite a bit of stress. No matter which partner you might be, the other partner will just not be a good match in terms of potential stress. Naturally, if you love someone and the other person doesn’t love you back, your stress level rises. Other stress risks include honesty, belief systems, values, and world views. When these are in conflict, relationships tend to be in conflict.

While it’s a given that relationships can cause stress, the more important issue is how you deal with this stress. Stress turned inward can lead to anger and rage. If you allow stress to turn into rage, you might find yourself stalking someone or performing other unlawful acts. Some people can cause you such stress that you feel it as soon as you and that person are in the same room. Does this make you a bad person? Absolutely not! But talking over such relationships with a trusted friend or professional can be helpful, especially if your friend listens and doesn’t offer advice you haven’t yet asked for. Stress builds, as well. You might excuse the stress you feel early on in a relationship, but as the relationship begins to deepen, you may find that avoiding a confrontation is impossible. Stress, by nature, may be deadly for the victimized person in a relationship.

While there is never a good place in life to feel stressed, sometimes you just can’t dodge all the stressors. Even people who choose to take themselves out of the fray find stress. For example, avoiding relationships because of shyness, loneliness, low self-esteem, having an anti-social personality, or any similar issue, does not preclude you from being stressed.

The fact that we are human and can from time-to-time get stressed, frustrated, or angry means that we need to be aware of our feelings and address them as soon as they come up. Meditation, prayer, walking in nature, and many other spiritual practices, as well as psychotherapy, pastoral counseling, and life coaching (look for coaches who specialize in relationships or stress) can help people deal with stress, anger, and even the stuff you choose to hold inside. Anger is stress taken to the next level. To deal with anger, taking an anger management class can help, which might also provide a bit of a support group.

How can a person tell if they are stressed or angry? Most angry people exhibit signs, such as clenched fists, jaws clinched, headache, stomach disorders (such as ulcers or reflux), teeth grinding, rise in blood pressure, or an inability to deal with everyday issues. On the other hand, a person who is stressed may not show any outward symptoms and be plagued by anxiety or waves of guilt.

Stress, anger, and anxiety, however, do bad things to our bodies, even when we are unaware. Probably the number one stressor in America is job stress. According to the APA Survey 2004 (latest information), “62% of Americans surveyed said that work has a significant impact on [their] stress levels.” Sometimes stress morphs into depression, “one in four [people] have taken a mental health day off from work to cope with stress,” according to the same APA Survey.

People suffering from job stress may have difficulty in their relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. Loving someone can also include stress when the relationship is good. Stress is part of living. Some stress is good, because it helps us get things done. When stress comes up in good relationships, there is often more opportunity to talk it over, which is the reason that stress in good relationships usually do not affect people as adversely as they do in rocky relationships.

Stress is not just an American issue. “In the UK (England) over 13 million working days are lost every year because of stress. Stress is believed to trigger 70% of visits to doctors, and 85% of serious illnesses , according to UK HSE’s (United Kingdom’s Heath and Safety Commission) stress statistics. Stress at work also provides a serious risk of litigation for all employers and organizations, carrying significant liabilities for damages, bad publicity and loss of reputation. Dealing with stress-related claims also consumes vast amounts of management time. So, there are clearly strong economic and financial reasons for organizations to manage and reduce stress at work, aside from the obvious humanitarian and ethical considerations,” according to businessballs.com. Businessballs is a free ethical learning and development resource for people and organizations, run by Alan Chapman, in Leicester, England.

Relationships involving sex, money, and marriage may account for the highest stress levels, according to Michael Matthews in his article “Causes of Marriage Failure: Money, Sex, and Communication” at Associated Content, an online article database owned by The People’s Media Company. “Women, in today’s society, are at less financial risk than ever before. As a result, many women expect men to help with the traditional household chores.” Thus, there is higher stress in the relationships, where the husband may expect more traditional roles in the home.

While divorce rates continue to be high, stress levels may not disappear after the divorce. With custody battles, differences of opinion on discipline, and a whole host of different issues that may have led to the stress levels that originally fed the divorce, may still exist in the relationship of divorced parents.

According to sociologist Linda Waite in her article "Does Marriage Matter?" published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, divorced people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people.

Since love is the catalyst of a lot of stress, one might conclude that living a loveless life would make you healthier, less stressed, and an overall happier individual. However, that is not the case. Look around at all the relationships that you have. Who do you love? Most people love their friends, family and their romantic partner(s). Stress is part of life. We need to attend to stress on a daily basis, because every day brings the possibilities of stress – maybe even a new stressor. Look for opportunities for being tranquil. Quiet down your mind and let the reality of the day float away, as you decrease your stress and capture moments of serenity, silence, and stillness.

STRESS – PHYSICAL VS MENTAL

2010-10-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

Stress can be physical as much as mental. Of course, physical stress is easier to deal with than mental stress. Rest and relaxation can usually get you back to feeling un-stressed. Recently, I became physically stressed in moving my Mom from Tennessee to Massachusetts.

In the last few weeks, my body was pushed to its maximum capacity. With hunting for an assisted living facility; organizing a trip, packing up my mother's possessions; learning how a portable oxygen concentrator worked; making sure my Mom was okay during our car trip into Memphis from her rural location in the middle of nowhere, Tennessee; rolling the portable oxygen concentrator in sync with the wheel chair being pushed by a man with a fast gait in the airport; dealing with the concentrator and wheel chair in the restroom so that Mom could relieve herself before we boarded the plane; and worrying about whether she would have enough battery power to get her needed oxygen, I was worn to a frazzle. I was stressed to the max by our trip, then the furniture and many, many boxes were delivered the next day. Mom was so worn out, I worried about her. Fortunately, they had put a bed into her room, so she laid down until they were ready to move it out and put hers in. By that time, I had located her sheets. After negotiating with Mom over her table that just wouldn't fit into her tiny efficiency apartment, we ended up taking it and about 15 boxes back to my condo. Most of the boxes are still in my basement office. The table is in the middle of my kitchen where I have to dance around it to cook our meals.

The airplane travel was definitely more difficult than I imagined and planned, because they canceled the non-stop flight. Instead of having a three-hour flight, we had a travel time that lasted all day (8 hours). I kept having to plug Mom's portable oxygen concentrator in, so that it would recharge a battery. She had three...we used up one, before we ever got onto the airplane. We used up the second one during the first leg of our flight. To get her off the plane, they had to put up a lift and lower her down. Then we had to make our way through the catacombs of covered walkways and ramps into the terminal.

Of course, the next step was to find an electrical outlet. This was difficult, since people with laptops and phone chargers were vying for space. Mom took priority since it was a necessary life support system. To get her back on the plane, we had to again go through the maze of walkways and have her lifted to the plane. There was a dangerous drop and no hand-holds on the part closest to the plane. I suppose the same situation was there when we went down, but I had hold of my Mom until she grabbed the railing of the lift. Coming back up, I didn’t feel I had a good grasp on her. All went fine, except using the airplane potty was less than desirable, but we managed. It was a tight fit for her to get clothing in the right place. With both her hips replaced, at 91, her movement is a bit stiffer than most people's.

We made it to Boston and into the car when the last battery gave out. I breathed a sigh of relief, because it had a cigarette lighter adapter. I got it all hooked up, but it didn't work. I think I blew the fuse in the cigarette lighter. Mom had to go without oxygen on our little over an hour's drive to the hotel. Then, I was able to plug the portable oxygen concentrator into an outlet and all was well!

The next day at the assisted living facility, her larger oxygen concentrator, plus portable tanks arrived. Now, all I have to do is work on the boxes. I think I've gotten rid of about two now. Oh yes, and the portable tanks don't last long enough for Mom to go down, eat a meal, and return. So, that's another issue that needs to be solved.

One step at a time, one day at a time!

After about a week, I’m finally feeling rested! I’ll feel even better when I get all the boxes out of my office. Clutter equals chaos is not just a saying, it really makes a difference!

Stress and Family

2010-09-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

We all have experienced stress in our families, either our family of origin or the families we have created. Some families are also spread out geographically, like mine.

It was Friday afternoon, and I was just about to sit down and format my new book manuscript to mail off. I got a phone call from my mother’s bank telling me that they are shutting down her account. This wasn’t the first time that I had spoken to the bank manager, Tanya (not her real name), about my mother’s account. The week before, she wanted to shut it down, but I begged her to keep it open so that my mom’s bills could get paid.

My mother and her caregiver came in and withdrew over $2,000, which included all the money for my mom’s monthly bills and for paychecks to the two caregivers that I had just moved into her account. For clarity’s sake we’ll call them Patsy and Sally (not their real names). Patsy is the one that takes my mom to her doctors’ appointments, to food shop, and wherever she needs or wants to go, including the bank.

Over the last eight months, Patsy has managed to move into my mom’s house and take over. While some of it is good, another thing began happening at about the same time: Mother began writing these huge checks to people that she didn’t know. Patsy encouraged her to continue. First, the phone bills were a little higher than normal, then they spiked up to about $800. When I checked with the phone company, they said they were all direct dialed from my mother’s home and they all went to a Jamaican number.

In April, my sister and I went for a visit. We had our suspicions with no hard facts to pin any wrong doing on Patsy. The Sheriff's deputy investigator said that at the very least, Patsy didn’t steer our mom into a more logical decision. Mother and Patsy both promised that they were through doing Sweepstakes. My sister was supposed to be taking over the paying of the bills, so when we left we thought it was all going to work out.

My mother and my sister got into huge yelling matches on the phone, which is out of character for both of them. My sister’s blood pressure spiked. My mother was equally disturbed. She kept saying, “But it’s my money, I should be able to spend it however, I like. You can’t penalize me for one mistake.”

The long and the short of it, my sister restored my mother’s bill paying privileges and also access to the money market account where a larger pool of money was stored. That money came from CDs that my mom and dad had bought years ago. Mother was pretty good for several months after our April visit. I had agreed to monitor the account, so my sister could distance herself. But then, all of a sudden more checks for cash came rolling in. My sister and I agreed that we didn’t want to go to court and declare our mother incompetent to handle her own affairs. We both had powers of attorney, but we weren’t sure what we could or couldn’t do. At first, it was small amounts of money and then it gradually grew. In one week in August, Mother had withdrawn $5,000 in cash about $1,000 at a time.

So when I got the call from Tanya saying that she would be shutting my mother’s account down, it wasn’t a surprise. The bank was mailing the check to me for safe keeping. Patsy had gone to a nearby branch and tried to withdraw about $2,000 from one of the accounts and posed as one of my mom’s daughters. Thank goodness, Tanya had put an alert on the account, as well as the hold. Patsy didn’t get any money. But it was clear that Patsy was trying to get to my mom’s money.

In talking with Tanya, she told me to call the other bank, which held all of Mother’s CDs. I called and talked with Brenda (not her real name), the bank manager, and found out that Patsy had been barred from their bank, because of her wiring money to Jamaica and cashing checks. They knew the money was my Mom’s money. Brenda relayed several more stories about encounters over money. My mom seemed not to remember that she had come in the day before to pull out money. Since these were CDs, Brenda was able to dissuade her a couple of times. But now she wanted more and more money. So, Brenda put a hold on the CDs, so now my mom won’t be able to pull any more money out.

I reported Patsy’s fraudulent representation and the possible elder abuse. Both Tanya and Brenda has relayed to me that they thought Mother was the victim of elder abuse. Mother could never explain what she needed all that money for. Tanya and Brenda knew her to be a frugal woman. She had been banking at both banks for over 30 years. Even when my Dad was alive, they never withdrew the kind of cash my mother was trying to get.

The question at this point is: what will Patsy do to my Mom? I don’t have all the answers at this point. This drama will have to play itself out. What worries me is that I’m not there to protect her. On the other hand, I’ve given her many opportunities to tell me what was really going on. Mom just told me lies and I knew that they were lies. This was not in my mother’s nature, so I knew it had to be coming from Patsy.

In April, Sally had said that she didn’t like what was going on. But Sally clearly didn’t want to get mixed up with this. She was afraid of Patsy. My sister and I tried to talk to our mom, but Mom had nothing but praise to give us about Patsy.

We wanted our mother to be happy. On the other hand, we wanted her to be able to financially survive and be safe.

Tips for Dealing with Family Stress
Due to an Elderly Relative

My story about my mother is not unlike about a thousand or more families that find that they must care for their mother or father or both or some other relations, such as an aunt or uncle. My mother is 91. She’s always been a person who had her wits about her. It’s hard to know when someone suddenly begins suffering from dementia, even mild dementia. You also don’t want to believe that it is happening to your loved one. It is further complicated when you live more than 1,000 miles away.

1. Stay as calm as you can. Remember that your relative could be having trouble with dementia, which is a medical issue.
2. Blaming yourself for whatever has gone on will help no one. Chances are your relative worked hard at keeping you out of the loop, so what could you do?
3. Giving your relative some clear choices is always better than yelling. After all, your relative is more like a child than an adult when their behavior is such a contrast to what it had been maybe even a couple of months before.
4. When our elderly relatives become fragile, we worry that any change could kill them. The question you must ask is: Is my relative in more trouble where he/she is or where I want to move them?
5. Moving an elderly relative can be tricky. From getting the oxygen issue (for those on oxygen) settled to getting their approval for the move is rather essential. You may have to remind your relative frequently during and after the move that this is better. Try to point out the amenities.
6. What if your relative dies during the move? When an elderly relative does anything, it could be their last. Especially, the frail and fragile elders are at risk of moving, but no more than any other activity.
7. How can I live with myself, if I caused my relative to die? You must remember that your relative was older and that he/she lived a full life. Your relative might have died while dining. There is no way to predict what will and won’t cause your relative to die. And you are probably moving your relative closer to where family lives so that you can visit this relative way more often than you can now. This is a good thing!
8. Stress is difficult to deal with when you are in a stressful position. However, you can change your attitude, which might change your relative, as well. Laughter always diffuses stress, even momentarily.
9. If you feel particularly stressed, you could give yourself a Power Out Moment. A Power Out Moment (POM) can be seconds that you close your eyes and mind to the stressors around you. You might even have a chant or affirmation to recite within this POM.
10. If you know you will be experiencing stress, prepare for your POM. Gather readings, meditations, poems, or meditational readings to take with you. I often take a POM just to breathe. Sometimes I focus on the silence and the silence within my own mind:
“When I breathe in peace, I breathe out love.”

Playful Root's Coaching Is Going ONLINE!

2010-08-25T14:59:00.000-07:00

Great News! Playful Root’s Coaching is going ONLINE!

Our first coaching package is a self-analysis package. Inner Peace and Stress Management are basically on the same linear plane, but at opposite ends. We all want to get to that place of ultimate inner peace, so we can be calm, spiritually satisfied, loving and hopeful people. But many of us are not there yet.

Some of us need a bit of help to get there, as well. Our new online coaching package - Connie’s Introductory Package – is designed to help you access where your stress lives. This is important, because sometimes we hold stress in parts of our body and that makes us sick. People who tend to hold stress in their tummy may feel a tummy ache. If the stress and tummy ache continue, there could be other medical issues that develop.

Healthy, happy living may not mean you are totally stress-free. Some stress is helpful. For example, when you see someone is in distress, your adrenaline begins to pump and allows you to do things you might otherwise couldn’t do. There have been reports of children who lifted cars off of a parent. The only explanation is adrenaline!

Connie’s Introductory Package also encourages you to play effectively. This doesn’t mean that there is a great deal of achievement in this act. Quite the opposite is true. Playing effectively means you are getting yourself to a place without stress. While there are many ways to do this, you need to remember not to play competitively. Sports often get competitive, which keeps you from reaching the stress-free place that you need. Some people paint or draw as a means of playing. This is an excellent way to play, because drawing or sketching means that you are looking at life or nature and seeing it in a whole new way. It means you’ve probably turned off your left brain and are fully into your right brain.

For the most part, left-brain activity handles all the organizing, processing of facts, competitive ideas, and the basic stuff you need to get you through a work day. The right brain, on the other hand, likes to dream and wonder. Creativity and imagination flow from the right brain.

Getting you to the place of inner peace means you need to wonder more about nature and the endless possibilities. Dreaming of wonderful ideas come naturally in this state. Meditation and introspection help to open your connection to your spirit or soul. Inner peace often has a foot in spirituality.

Connie’s Introductory Package will help you access where you are on time management, productivity, financial organization, and, in general, where are you in life?

This package also includes a 15-minute one-on-one coaching session with Coach Connie, who is known to be accessible, warm, engaging and playful.

You Can Sign Up now & Get 3 Days to Decide if this is the plan for you. It has a FREE 3-Day TRIAL and a reduced fee! While Connie’s Introductory Package has a $100 value, it has been reduced to $25 to encourage you to try out Playful Roots’ new ONLINE coursework. Beyond the Introductory Package, Creativity and Stress Packages are available. There are other packages that are still being developed and will be available soon.

To see more, click MORE.

STOPPING FOR MOOSE ON A SUMMER EVENING

2010-08-03T08:04:00.001-07:00

In the Great North Woods of New Hampshire, by chance, you may find a moose. They emerge like spirits in the almost shadow time of the evening or early morning when the dew is still young. Is it the antler of a bull moose or is it a bare tree? Tree.

How dare the branches fool us again and again? And then, without warning, these great beasts leap onto the pavement. In the time of one breath, they are there, and then, gone.

Moose sightings touch your soul. Perhaps because the occurrences are not common where most people live, these robust water plant eaters give rise to our imaginations. They give us hope by their mere existence. Seeing them in their own habitat reminds us that the important things of life do not entirely revolve around us humans.

Getting out of our common settings and routines, allow us to refuel our minds, and sometimes our bodies. This is probably our third year exploring the White Mountains, and our first year this far north in what is called the Great North Woods. Within these national forests live moose, bear, wild turkeys, bobcats, mountain lions, and the coveted eagle. We were told that three pair of eagles were living in the Umbagog Lake Regions, we did not see the majestic bird. We caught a glimpse of some large bird, and we would like to think that was the magnificent eagle with his huge outstretched wings. The truth is that it was more fleeting than the moose. It may have been a hawk. Whatever it was, it was less than a breath that it was visible before being consumed by woodlands. We were invited into the natural environment for slight seconds now and then.

If I were a doctor, I would prescribe our trip to all those who suffer from stress and depression. It is hard to feel stressed or depressed surrounded by such peaceful environment. I would send you to Dummer, New Hampshire, to take refuge in the Great Northern Moose Lodge (www.greatnorthernmoose.com), where owners Richard and Sandy Tessier would take great care of you! This lodge is a gem of a B&B. Anything you want to do, depending on the season, of course, Richard will gladly arrange, even dog sledding on a rolling sled in the summer.

Richard pointed us to two different 100-mile scenic excursions, for which we did. Both drives begin in a little town north of the Lodge called Errol. Turning left or right at that intersection, will take you through a notch, which is a road between two mountains.

On our first day, we took a right and drove through Grafton notch. Only a few miles from Errol, we saw two moose. They had no antler, so they were cows or lady moose, if you would. About 300 feet in front of us, the first moose leaped out upon the pavement and almost floated as it leaped to the woods on the other side. And just as that moose disappeared into the thickets, another one appeared. This one took a look at our car and quickly turned around to be engulfed by the woods on that side of the road. We might have stopped to see if we could see where they went, but a car was behind us, so onward we went.

This was an awesome drive filled with beautiful vistas that only human eyes can absorb, although I took many pictures anyway. We stopped to take a short hike to the Moose Cave. Other visitors assured us it was worth our time. I was fascinated by all the different mosses that they were trying to preserve. Some were almost white and some were very dark green. There was a little waterfall and the caves were more gorge-like than cave-like, but held a loveliness about them.

The next day, we drove to Errol and turned left and drove through Dixville Notch. It, too had gorgeous vistas. And on our third day, we drove through Evan’s Notch on the way home. On this drive, we spotted several wild turkeys, many vistas, and to put an interesting twist on this drive, we took the famous Hurricane Mountain Road into North Conway. This road is famous for its snake-like curves around and over the mountainous terrain. Once in North Conway, there are restaurants, shopping, and ice cream! After the ice cream and one of our favorite stores, Sister Crow, to buy a new Native American flute and drum CD, we were off to the Kancamagus Highway, which is very picturesque. We passed by the Swift River and walked down into the Rocky Gorge. When we arrived at I-93, we were almost back to where we started entering the White Mountains in Franconia Notch and the Flume, which we had visited on our trip up to the Great North Woods.

Indeed, we succeeded to remove ourselves from the world for about four days. Even our cell phones had been mostly out of service. We had renewed our inner peace and balance. We were almost ready to re-enter the world. We knew we had experienced the White Mountains once again and had the “best” Great North Woods exploration adventure we could have had!

The Peace Parachute Project

2010-07-10T15:49:00.000-07:00

The Peace Parachute Project runs July 12-15 at 8 p.m. (EDT) each evening on www.blitztime.com (There will be one-on-one opportunities to network and discuss this topic.) Think about the parachute and how each section joins with the other. In our symposium for these four (4) days, Ann Gatty, who is also a stress management coach (www.stress-management-4-women.com), and I (www.playfulroots.com) will be helping participants to develop a self awareness of themselves and their reactions to those around them. From this awareness, strategies will be practiced to assist in the development of an improved life balance.

In this content-rich symposium, pParticipants will learn the importance of journaling; some relaxation techniques, good communication techniques; how to take charge of your reaction to stress; find ways to reach out to others; and how to embrace other cultural differences.

With a lot of unemployment, two wars going on, the instability in the stock market, the housing market, and other signs of bad economy happening in our country, there is plenty to cause us stress. We also are experiencing a higher crime rate in some areas. Our children's schools are full of violence and classroom sizes are growing again. Are you stressed yet?

Yes, it's easy to find our community stressors. But what is it that really gets you stressed? Is it your job, your boss, your spouse, your children? What about these causes you to feel stress and how does it manifest in your life and body?

We could write volumes on the things that irritate us and cause us stress, there is more out there than I've noted. But the flip side of stress is peace - inner peace. I admit that my years have not always been virtually stress-free. I was probably the chair of the stress committee for moms. Now, I'm very mellow and very much at peace.

It doesn't come because you are just fed up with being angry inside. You have to work at it. There are many ways in which coaches, such as Ann and I, can help you learn to cope.

Even if it feels like there is no way out of your stressed inner life; there really is a path to follow. It may not be a straight path. It may have a lot of twists and turns, but there is peace to be found.

Sign up and attend all four days, and I will send you my Creating Inner Peace for free.

There is only a short time left to get registered. Go to www.blitztime.com and look for The Peace Parachute Project, remember there are 4 sessions!

Thank you.
Connie Dunn

DISTRACTION IS RELATED TO STRESS

2010-05-14T12:58:00.001-07:00

Health officials are still pointing to stress as the number one cause of emergency room visits. Heart disease, anxiety, depression, and auto immune diseases are a few of the health issues that are linked to stress.

When people are unhappy with their job or their work environment, they often suffer from headaches and stomach ailments. While not all headaches or stomach ailments can be directly attributed to stress, most are. Coaching from Playful Roots can help you find some techniques that work for you to lower your stress, as well as help out your prolonged and acute ailments.

For a lot of people, stress is silent and unfeeling. Until a heart attack or some other potentially dangerous health issue pops up, they aren't aware of the stresses in their life. Don't be one of these folks who ignore these signals. It's a wake-up call for some of the lucky ones, but those that are not so lucky might not be around for us to tell them how much they are missed.

Don't hold on to stress, because that causes Stress Trash in you body. Instead, GET COACHED at Playful Roots.com or e-mail me at playfulroots@gmail.com.

My friend, Monique MacKinnon, Creativity Expert/Energetic Evolution, posted a blog at http://www.energeticevolution.com/blog/ which caught my eye the other day, and I couldn't help but think that her discussion on being scattered relates so much to being stressed. When we are stressed, we tend to be scattered or have our attention in many different places.

Monique divides this into 5 categories for business entrepreneurs. However, I think we could borrow some of her idea and reframe it for stress. Instead of causing just distraction and being scattered, these same five things cause a lot of the work-related stress that you, my clients, have told me about.

These 5 Stressors include:

1. Being unclear and aimless in your purpose. This could include your entire life or just the task at hand. Many people get stressed when they don't understand the purpose behind what they are doing.

2. Being pessimistic about your current or future situation.
3. Being reactive instead of proactive.
4. Resist change instead of going with the flow.
5. Being distracted from your purpose (again life, in general, or a specific task). You might bee attracted to shiny objects, which keeps you jumping from one thing to the next.

These five items may cause you to be scattered and stressed. But let's look at ways you can avoid these:

1. Instead of being unclear and aimless in your purpose, you can examine what your purpose in life is. For example, if you are working in a corporate office, but your main mission in life has been to own your own company, you are bound to be stressed by this. You could end that stress by beginning your own business or finding a different job. While this could lead to a huge stressor, try to keep your current job until you find the new one or until your business gets off the ground. People who devote their time to their passions are less stressed. This works for either a job change or beginning your business.

2. We can all be pessimistic about where we are and where we think we will be going. And the thing a lot of people don't understand is that when you are thinking negatively, your negativity becomes your reality. Our economy stinks! You've probably heard that a million times! But that doesn't have to be your economy. There is ample money for those who know the secret of earning. Call me or e-mail me for more information.

3. If you are reactive instead of proactive, you likely are freaking out stressed on a regular basis about one thing or another. You could work on being proactive about many things in your personal and work lives, which will lower your stress.

4. Change is one of the hardest things for people who are easily stressed. However, change is all there is. Nothing stays the same, and you wouldn't want it to. That would limit your growth into being the person you were meant to be. Learning to go with the flow can be easy. Again, e-mail me or call me.

5. I think I like this one most of all - attracted to shiny objects! Aren't we all? But these things usually just get us off track and are rarely things that will keep our attentions for long. How do they stress you? Well, they stress you by diverting your attention to the things you need to take care of. Once those unattended details begin to pop up in your life, stress follows. Try to avoid the shiny objects, if you can! At least, limit the number you check out!

(More about Monique: Monique MacKinnon, Creativity Expert http://www.energeticevolution. com .Teaching passionate people who feel “lost” how to monetize their talents meaningfully. To claim your complimentary 15-minute phone "Clear Creative Blocks Forever Session" (limited time only, exclusive offer for Playful Roots clients), contact monique@energeticevolution.com)

Playful Roots is a Creative Life Coaching business. We offer a free 30-minute coaching session. Contact us at playfulroots@gmail.com or 508-446-1711.

Come Play: Find the Creative Within

2010-02-09T14:31:00.000-08:00

So why decide to become a Creative Coach?

I am a writer, a teacher, a creator. I am a fiber artist, who knits, sews, and embroiders. I make puppets, one stitch at a time. I create characters with the puppets just as I create characters when I write. The act of creating is so enmeshed in my life that without it, I would surely dry up and be blown away by the wind. People, who know me, consider me an extremely creative person that’s because I am usually creating something all the time.

Although I am creative and can identify that way, I am a logical person, as well. I can break things down into step-by-step directions. I can see the creativeness in the broadest sense. People who invent things are also creative. It is that imaginative possibility that allows people to think of a problem and how to solve it. The solution is the result of innovative thinking. Being inspired by the problem and imagining something to solve it goes way beyond resourcefulness and into original constructiveness. It is the beneficial nature of the solution that creates a value in our society. Naturally, that also which makes it a saleable item.

Most creative products start with a problem. For example, when the first motorized car was developed, the problem was transportation. We’ve come a long way from that. Now, we are looking for more solutions that use cleaner energy. It is the practical nature of much of the most industrious products that sends people back to that primordial pool of creativity that we all have. Some people are able to access it better than others.

As a coach, I can help you connect to it in many different ways. First, you must learn to play, if you don't already. By playing, I mean digging into clay, painting, collage creation, scrap-booking, journaling, drawing, even decorating cakes. When you find that part of playing and creativity that helps you solve the problems you face, then you're ready to explore all the power that creativity or spirituality (I use them both here, because some people see this as spiritual in nature. Others, see it as creativity) can offer. Creating a solution which goes beyond the obvious requires a lot of delving inside yourself to find your own primordial pool that is dripping with the stuff from which the entire universe is made! Some people see that as stardust, others as angel wool. Call it whatever, but to go there you must know yourself well and be very well acquainted with your creative self or your spiritual self. From that place you can access the greatest powers you possess.

This primordial pool of creative energy lies deep in the recesses of our brains. It allows us to create things out of the void that goes beyond tangible items. This is the source of our ability to create our healthy lives, be successful, and become wealthy. It is also the place where egos tend to be ethically challenged. If you're in control of the ego, you may access this pool of creative energy for the good of all humanity. There is always a possibility that your ego will click in and cause you to be greedy. This would definitely be bad for all. Most of all to yourself. While we do see people all the time that appear to be greedy and take advantage of opportunities that aren't really on the up and up, those who put that out in the universe will surely get it back at least threefold, according to ancient cultures throughout our global history.

Perhaps this is where the creativity meets the spirituality. When we access that elemental part of us that helps us create, perhaps it is the spiritual part of us that clicks in. There probably will be discussions about this for many years to come, because neither the creative within nor the spiritual within can be seen or monitored by any machinery that has been developed. There are no tools to use to see if one person possesses a larger ability to be spiritual than another. I am hoping we never do. The mystery surrounding creativity and spirituality keep it fresh and changing all the time. The mysterious is always more intriguing than that which is easily named, seen and experienced.

- Connie Dunn
Creative Coach
playfulroots@gmail.com
www.PlayfulRoots.com